i am there for you no matter what, anytime, day or night, unless i am watching rome on hbo or i am eating pie.

if you say "My Cocaine" out-loud, you are also saying "Michael Caine" in his own voice. MIND OFFICIALLY BLOWN

click these if bored. it's addictive:   http://www.baconorbeercan.com/    http://www.hairpieceorherpes.com/

"Vodka, Bourbon, Tequila!" - me calling the shots.

tonight is going to be a shit show. i completely paid off my gold card last week and so at least i know i can get home in a limo later when i cant find anyone i went out with.

schmidt happens.

ok, i know i've already burped off enough about how my new favorite show is 'new girl' but i swear that every time i watch it i fall deeper and deeper in love with schmidt. this guy's lines are delicious. 'cece crashes' was one of my favorite episodes but after catching last nights i am going to refer to sushi as 'samurai snacks' forever. scrummy.


"you coming, schmidt?"
"let me grab my cardigan."