well, it's official

 

I always hit 'ignore call' with my middle finger.

Have a Safe Saturday People.

D'awwww of the Day

stupid FB

cant. stop. watching.

NEW GIRL RULES!!!!!!!!

 

Are we just gonna ignore how Zooey Deschanel aged 50 years in that second gif or what...

If we ever go to war with China, I'd advise the Army to set up Black Jack tables all along the front line.

3:02 is all im sayin...

Just bet myself that the guy walking in front of me was rocking a mustache. I won. Rewarded myself with the delusion that I live a full life!

yes, they're good but bananas act like they know they're good, and that's unappealing to me... also HOLY SHIT.

okay amateur photographers, the 1,000,000,000,000th close-up photo of a flower has been taken. It's safe to move on to other objects now. Well Done.

stupid FB

 

guess who's back.

The Ouija board spells out WHAT'S UP GAYLORD and he's like is there really no one else in the spirit realm besides my grandma?

 

j/k, this is pretty damn rad

Where is your God now?

wise guy.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE :|)

that shirt. my birthday is a week today. want. want. want.

i keep 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower, and even if i look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor.

Question of the Week:

you have my vote, dave

one cat and one dog, actually.

BIRTHDAY WANT!!!!!

cue lonely island tune here.

a glimpse at october 5th 2012

HAPPY TUESDAY

Trying to hold in a really big fart during a conversation:

im pretty sure most ladies hold it in, it goes back up and comes out of their mouth in the form of bitching.

today i am thinking about my friend, Brandie. life has dealt her serious shit this past month and it makes me sad. life really isnt fair, but i suppose it's not fair for anyone, which makes it fair. i love ya stacks and stacks b.  *please see above example.

cant. stop. watching.

a love a lil twist on things....

are you thinking what im thinking?

my bumhole is already a little sore.

5 is usually my lucky number.

GOOD AFTERNOON, SUNDAY

I've just opened a yumbo bottle of red, poured myself a heaping glass and will now let numb ensue... happy sunday, folks.

id hold up too.

dios mio, i love this song so much its dumb.

LAUREN!!!!! are you seeing this?

excuse me, do you have any gums?
no seriously, i want this.
where are you btw? its 11pm on a Saturday night, im all alone and my pantaloons have descended... let's get uncharted3 up in here.

Willow - Sweater

i love and want to hump this song.

Snea KeyPete

D'aww of the Day.

ive heard this before.

Acoustic Levitation = rAd

holy fuck i love science. honestly, how can you believe in anything else?

Mini-Room Edition

i wouldnt even be able to fit all my clothes in that... but it would be a great videogame playhouse. shut up and take my money.