#endsmalltalk

When it's the 1st of the month and you've got direct deposit!

If you're truly desperate, there's always the girl at the bar with the straw cowboy hat.

Happy Saturday, folks!!!!!!

I truly long for the good old days, when all the men wore suits and all the women wore dresses and they put cocaine in soda.

#skols & #goals

I grew up in a time when a Dracula costume had a picture of Dracula on the chest below the word "Dracula." It wasn't an imaginative time.

I think I burn most my calories at the gym untangling headphones.

Something people in McDonalds have? Fries. Something people in McDonalds don't have? Ankles.

Old guys use the worst cellphones.

Yup. This is my Dad. #Leroy