for dylan t

i want your samsung.

EVERYDAY

breaks my heart.

take with food.

A TRUE STORY

oh shit.

sigh, there are worse things.

dude pal's on third.

how many teenage girls does it take to change a lightbulb? 11

1 to change it & 10 to take 200 photos & clog my newsfeed.
attention: guy... go to your shop and make it better.

this is how i gymnastic

i only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.

"swear to god, something just grazed my weiner." -the best ghost hunter ever.

No `Speaka Da English' Resume Cover Letter

cant. stop. watching.

what the mother fuck is that...  vodka or gin?

cant. stop. watching.

BOME... done.

i miss the office