Many people dont know this but when you sit next to a talker at the Orpheum Theatre you're allowed to hit them in the face and move seats. It's in the ticket fine print.

Due to overwhelming demand for tickets, the Tosh.0 star will now perform twice at the Orpheum Theatre on Aug. 13 -- the original show at 7 p.m. and a new late show at 10 p.m. Tickets to ($35 and $45)

Ticketmaster.ca.

for really?

what kind of loser trips and falls on a 'deep woods' hike?

I want to change my name on facebook to 'nobody' so when someone posts something stupid, I can click like and it will say 'nobody likes this'.

but fuck that for this because everybody likes Louis CK.

I sometimes feel alone and insignificant, especially when someone turns out the lights while I'm still in the bathroom.

Zero: In a world that judges people by their number, Zero faces constant prejudice and persecution. He walks a lonely path until a chance encounter changes his life forever: he meets a female zero. Together they prove that through determination, courage, and love, nothing can be truly something. beautiful.

a little Theophilus London

i want to crawl into this video and take a vacation.

if you have an iphone you need to download the free app SONGIFY.

once you get the free app you can buy more packs, i bought the rap pack and the club pack to unlock some more great tunes to songify but it does come with some free songs to try out. You can also check out recent and top songs created by other users. YOU MUST GO TO RECENT and check out my brother Dave's song called NACHO, its about Dave and his fiancee Lisa's bulldog Nacho -the full time asshole, not about a plate of cheesy nachos and if you don't mind please rate it, preferably 5 stars. Its really good.

i cant stop layin tracks!!!!

when a dude rests his sunglasses on the back of his neck, you gotta go around to punch him in the face, but it's worth it.

i feel bad for the remote.

Dogs can lick their balls and no one bats an eye lid but when i do it you're all like get the hell away from my dog...

(((((crickets)))))

i wish my vagina had a 'delete history' button.

 

this years halloween costume? YUP.

My dog just yawned directly in my face. It smelled worse than a hookers toothbrush.

one evening i was sitting around my brother's friend alex's house and i blurted out how cool it would be to have a mini great white shark. a miniature exact replica type super hybrid genetic mutation created by mega intelligent scientists for the everyday fish tank. it was genius... only after i said it everyone sat there just staring at me like I was a fucking nugget. gulp. everyone heard that. then out of nowhere and what seemed like several hours of extreme quite, Alex chimed in... "yeah, and you can feed them little mini surfers with mini surf boards, man."
So a huge thanks to alex for the amount of relief i felt all because of his even stupider comment. one word, folks. hero. soon afterwards alex and i started deciding carefully on the name for our mini shark because we each got one. the end.

P.S. BIRTHDAY WANT.

D’awwwwwwww

Just look at those giant fluffy feet and toes.

one fedora per crew.

Darrell makes me watch workaholics and i like it so life's not all that bad! one fedora per crew is the rule though.