This just messed with my head for a minute.

When you see it, you will know.

NO SHIT!!!

Real talk. No way does Wonka's glass elevator pass inspection.

When what you wore last night was so fabulous you wear it to brunch.

GIUSEPPE ZANOTTI

click it, find the harmony collection, orgasm.

you’re welcome 

Valentine’s Day 🤍

Valentine’s Day is all about showing love...

NEW HIGH SCORE

so worth delaying a pizza delivery that extra few minutes.
Keep Calm & Nerd Harder.

SUNDAY’S Snow Moon

The first super moon of the new decade will be visible across the world this weekend, offering the best view of the moon in almost a year.

The moon, traditionally called the Snow Moon, will be the first of four super moons set to take place in 2020, and will be the first to occur since March 20 last year. 

You will be able to witness the phenomenon today/tonight. February 9, 2020 at 17:48 GMT

♥️ 6 days until Valentine’s ♠️

Alternative responses to “I love you”

* Who doesn’t 

* I know

* Thank you

* Well, that’s a horrible idea.

* YEET

* Shoot off double barrel *FINGER GUNS* then say:

 “oof, safety was on... awkward”

* Laugh nervously

* Laugh hysterically

“Spirit animals don’t exi-“

D’awwwww of the Day

baby donkeys (foals), no words just smiles

ME: Hey check this out...
(Flashes photo over to Ross) 
ROSS: DO YOU WANNA DVD NUTS
ME: what!? No, try again
ROSS: DO YOU WANNA DOWNLOAD NUTS
ME: seriously?
ROSS: DO YOU WANNA... (1min later) digital?
ME: what?

That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if she sold tacos. Just sayin’

5/5/2020

The best meal I’ve ever had was a 5$ pizza

🍕 I get it. 

Happy Birthday Linds

I never took a single shit break, you know me and my aversion to public toilets, but we used to fuck-off and have the best time together while I did. You know it’s definitely Paruresis.

Happy Birthday to one of my favourite people. When we met, we just clicked and never stopped laughing. Those kind of people don’t exist for me so when I find one I cling film. You are seriously everything amazing in one human package. Keep it up. I miss you something awful especially on days like today.

Three cheers on the day the world became a better place.
Huzzah! bisssssh.